佚名/Anonymous

　　It's the classic story with a twist, a traveling salesman gets a flat tire on a dark, lonely road and then discovers he has no jack. He sees a light in a farmhouse. As he walks toward it, his mind churns:"Suppose no one comes to the door." "Suppose they don't have a jack." "Suppose the guy won't lend me his jack even if he has one." The harder his mind works, the more agitated he becomes, and when the door opens, he punches the farmer and said yells, "Keep your lousy jack!"

　　That story brings a smile, because it pokes fun at a common type of self-defeatist thinking. How often have you heard yourself say:"Nothing ever goes the way I planned." "I'll never make that deadline." "I always screw up."

　　Such inner speech shapes your life more than any other single force. Like it or not, you travel through life with your thoughts spell gloom and doom, that's where you're headed, because put-down words sabotage confidence instead of offering support and encouragement.

　　Simply put, to feel better, you need to think better. Here's how:

　　1. Tune into your thoughts. The first thing Sue said to her new therapist was, "I know you can't help me, Doctor. I'm a total mess. I keep lousing up at work, and I'm sure I'm going to be canned. Just yesterday my boss told me I was being transferred. He called it promotion. But if I was doing a good job, why transfer me?"

　　Then, gradually, Sue's story moved past the put-downs. She had received her M.B.A. two years before and was making an excellent salary. That didn't sound like failure.

　　At the end of their first meeting, Sue's therapist told her to jot down her thoughts, particularly at night if she was having trouble falling asleep. At her next appointment, Sue's list included:"I'm not really smart. I got ahead by a bunch of flukes." "Tomorrow will be a disaster." "I've never chaired a meeting before." "My boss looked furious this morning. What did I do?"

　　She admitted, "In one day alone, I listed 26 negative thoughts. No wonder I'm always tired and depressed."

　　Hearing her fears and forebodings read out loud made Sue realize how much energy she was squandering on imagined catastrophes. If you've been feeling down, it could be you're sending yourself negative message too. Listen to the words churning inside your head. Repeat them aloud or write them down, if that will help capture them.

　　2. Isolate destructive words and phrases. Fran's inner voice kept telling her she was "only a secretary". Mark's reminded him he was "just a salesman". With the word "only", or "just", they were downgrading their jobs and, by extension, themselves.

　　By isolating negative words and phrases, you can pinpoint the damage you're doing to yourself. For Fran and Mark, the culprits were only and just. Once those words are eliminated, there's nothing destructive about saying" I am a salesman" or" I am a secretary". Both statements open doors to positive follow ups, such as, "I'm on my way up the ladder."

　　3. Stop the thought. Short-circuit negative messages as soon as they start by using the one-word command stop! "What will I do if..." stop!

　　In theory, stopping is a simple technique. In practice, it's not as easy as it sounds. To be effective at stopping, you have to be forceful and tenacious. Raise your voice when you give the command. Picture yourself drowning out the inner voice of fear.

　　4. Accentuate the positive. There's a story about a man who went to a psychiatrist, "What's the trouble?" asked the doctor. "Two months ago my grandfather died and left me $75,000 last month, a cousin passed away and left me $100,000."

　　"Then why are you depressed?"

　　"This month, nothing!"

　　When a person is in a depressed mood, everything can seem depressing. So once you've exorcised the demons by calling a stop, replace them with good thoughts.

　　5. Reorient yourself. Have you ever been feeling down late in the day, when someone suddenly said, "Let's go out." Remember how your spirits picked up? You changed the direction of your thinking, and your mood brightened.

　　这是一则经典故事——一名推销员深夜行车，不料，车子在一处无人过往的公路段抛锚了。此刻，他才发现自己没带千斤顶。恰在此时，他看到一线灯光从一间农舍透出来。于是，他朝那里走去，边走边想：“要是没有人开门怎么办？”“如果他们没有千斤顶怎么办？”“或许他们有但不借给我又该怎么办？”他越想心里越不踏实。在门打开的同时，他打了农夫一拳，并大声吼道：“把你那该死的千斤顶收起来吧！”

　　这个故事听来很可笑，它是对那种自我挫败者的思维的一大讽刺。曾有多少次你对自己说过这些话呢——“没有一件事是按我的预想进行的。”“我不可能按时完成。”“我总会把事情搞砸。”

　　这种内在想法比任何外在因素更能影响你的生活。不论你是否相信，这种悲观消极的思想都会伴随你一生。你必须直面这个问题，因为，贬低自己不会给你带来任何支持和鼓励，只会削弱你的自信心。

　　总之，要想自己过得开心，就得往好的方面想。以下有几点建议：

　　1.转变思想。苏对她的心理医生说的第一句话就是：“医生，我很清楚，你帮不了我。我做什么都不如意，工作也一塌糊涂。我觉得自己要被老板炒鱿鱼了。昨天，老板要把我调离，他说这是晋升，可是，我做得很好，他为何要调我走呢？”

　　接着，苏又慢慢转移了话题。两年前，她获得了MBA学位，有一份高薪工作。由此看来，她算不上是一个失败者。

　　第一次心理治疗结束后，心理医生让苏把想法写出来，特别是在晚上失眠时写。第二次治疗时，医生看到苏这样写道：“我一点也不聪明，我总遇到倒霉的事。”“明天肯定很倒霉。”“我从来没组织过一次会议。”“早上，老板看起来很生气，我该如何是好呢？”

　　她承认：“就一天工夫，我列出了26条消极的想法。难怪我总是情绪低落，困倦乏力。”

　　医生大声念着苏的忧虑和猜疑。苏突然意识到，她把太多的精力浪费在假想无端的灾难上。情绪低落时，这可能是给自己制造的麻烦。试着聆听回响在耳畔的声音，大声地反复地说出来或写下来吧，或许会对你有所帮助。

　　2.别让消极思想乘虚而入。弗兰心里总在想：“你不过是个秘书。”马克也常提醒自己：“你只是个推销员罢了。”就是这些“不过”或“只是”让他们轻视自己的职业，从而贬低了自己。

　　只有阻止这些消极思想的侵入，你才能清楚地看到，这种结果正是自己造成的。对弗兰和马克来说，这些“不过”和“只是”就是罪魁祸首。只要消除这些悲观字眼，说“我是个推销员”或“我是秘书”就不会带来任何伤害了，并且，这样说还能给思想注入积极的因子，比如，我们可以说：“我会更上一层楼。”

　　3.停止悲观的想法。一旦那些悲观思想向你袭来，要马上停止接收这种负面信息。只要有诸如“要是……，我该怎么办？”之类的想法，应马上终止去想。

　　理论上，停止去想说起来很简单，可实际操作，就不如说起来那么容易了。我们应善于制止悲观思想的滋生，应变得坚韧顽强。一旦决定抑制悲观思想，你得提高音量，想象着把内心的恐惧驱逐出去。

　　4.要有乐观积极的心态。有一则故事是这样讲的——一个人去看心理医生。医生问他：“怎么了？”他回答说：“两个月前，我的祖父过世了，留给我7.5万美元。上个月，我堂兄也去世了，留给了我10万美元。”

　　“那你怎么还这么沮丧？”

　　“但这个月，我什么也没有！”

　　一个人情绪低落时，他看什么都不顺。一旦这种消极思想从脑海中排解，一种积极上进的思想便会取而代之。

　　5.转移注意力。你曾在工作一天后情绪不佳吗？此时，会突然有人提出“我们出去玩”之类的话吗？还记得你的心情是怎样调动起来的吗？把思维的角度转个方向，你就豁然开朗了。

　　jack[d??k]n.插座；千斤顶；男人

　　You need a jack to lift the car before repairing it.

　　修汽车前，你得用千斤顶把汽车抬起来。

　　furious[?fju?ri?s]adj.狂怒的；猛烈的

　　Facing such furious competitions, they can't win at all.

　　面对那样激烈的竞争，他们根本不可能赢。

　　culprit[?k?lprit]n.犯人；罪犯；刑事被告；肇事者

　　The police are now on the scent of the culprit.

　　警方已获得罪犯的线索。

　　tenacious[ti?nei??s]adj.紧粘不放的；固执的；不屈不挠的

　　He hold on to my arm with a tenacious grip.

　　他紧紧抓住我的手臂不放。

　　贬低自己不会给你带来任何支持和鼓励，只会削弱你的自信心。

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　　只有阻止这些消极思想的侵入，你才能清楚地看到，这种结果正是自己造成的。

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　　我们应善于制止悲观思想的滋生，应变得坚韧顽强。一旦决定抑制悲观思想，你得提高音量，想象着把内心的恐惧驱逐出去。

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　　I always screw up.

　　screw up：挤成一团；弄糟；搞乱；弄乱

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　　I got ahead by a bunch of flukes.

　　a bunch of：一堆；一束；一群

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